I think that one of the most important things that I’ve learned during 2017 was that it’s okay to do things for yourself.
I spent a lot of my time in the past sacrificing my wants and needs just to make other people that I cared for happy. Even if I didn’t care for someone that much, I would still go above and beyond just so that they would see me as a good person. I was the yes man, the almighty people pleaser. Part of me still is, but it’s not as prominent in me as it was a few years ago.
Now typically, I would blame this extreme need on the fact that I am a Libra- a rather sociable, charming, crowd-pleasing creature that just wants everyone to be happy. Who am I kidding? I completely blame it on my zodiac sign…
Astrology aside, it’s been an internal struggle that I have been dealing with for years on end, even as I began to make major changes in my life upon moving to Boca. But there was something about this year in particular, that made realize that I’m probably the most important person in my own life. Now, I’m not intentionally trying to sound like a complete narcissist. But think about it: no one knows you better than yourself. No one knows about the fears you keep hidden from the public eye, or that you still have an immense hatred for that one ex-coworker from your first summer job several years ago. Only you are holder of that information. Others can try to pry your mind open and spill all of your secrets, but ultimately you are the only one that knows of them.
2017 was honestly one of the best years of my life thus far. I graduated hell- I mean high school, moved to Boca and truly began to live my life the way I wanted to. With the help of several heartbreaks and failed relationships/friendships, I began to learn that I needed to prioritize myself instead of just giving everything to a person as soon as I met them. I began to take myself out on dates more often, usually at the beach and occasionally I’d go out for coffee alone.
I’ve learned a lot about who I am this year, all from being alone.
I always knew that I liked walking, but I had no idea that I could walk for almost 10 miles straight before getting tired and needing to take a break.
I enjoy documenting my adventures even if the pictures turn out crappy to later print out the physical photos and put them in a scrapbook.
I learned that my all time favorite food was anything that had boiled noodles involved (pho is a new favorite dish of mine) and that my ramen cravings can get really intense if I don’t tend to them. And not the cheap, eighty-nine cent top ramen, but actual gourmet ramen bowls.
I like having solo dance parties until five or six in the morning when my roommate has gone away for the weekend. I’m convinced that it’s how I stay so fit since it’s the only true hardcore physical activity I do.
There are just so many things that I found out that I enjoyed participating in just because I took the time out of my day to be present with myself and only myself. I mean, I started taking up blogging again, for crying out loud!
I enjoyed spending time by myself so much that I’m making it a resolution for the upcoming year to do it more often so I can learn to be more content with who I am as a person.
I hate that I’m quoting this, but it in the words of Kylie Jenner, “2017 [was] the year of like, realizing things”. I realized a lot about myself this year, so I guess that I can only go up from here, right?
What are your resolutions for 2018? Leave them in the comments below!