Never in a million years did I think that I would be sharing this very embarrassing experience with all of the internet, but here we are.
I asked you guys on Instagram (which you should totally follow me on if you don’t already) What you would rather see on the good ol’ blog this week: ways to treat yourself on Valentine’s Day or a personal story.
Needless to say, I think we know which option won for this week:
So here I am, at 12:38am on this fine Sunday, currently typing out what is going to be a ridiculous story from the get-go. I’m only saying this because this personal tale of mine is set in the illustrious setting that is middle school.
Ah yes, probably the three worst years of my life, especially in the social regard. Buckle up y’all, this story is about to get really odd.
My seventh grade year held a lot of memories like having my first boyfriend, taking my first high school level class, etc. That still doesn’t totally excuse the shit-hole that were my middle school years, though.
I don’t know what it is about the last month or so of school that makes people go crazy, but during one of my lunch periods during that fateful last month of my seventh grade year, some idiot kid had the bright idea to start a food fight.
Honestly, I don’t remember much of the food fight itself other than scurrying underneath a table with the group of girls that I had been sitting with, hoping to avoid as much mayhem and chaos as possible. I remember more of what happened afterward.
So once school officials and those unfortunate teachers that volunteered to man lunch duty that day stepped in and managed to put an end to this whole mess (ha, do you see the wordplay there? Please tell me you do, I’m tired and lonely and telling this story is the only thing keeping me busy right now), it wasn’t until that I came up from underneath the table that I realized my vision was blurred…
Now for those who don’t know, I’ve had troubled eyesight since my third grade year, so yes, little old me had to wear glasses. ( I still do, but I’m much more confident in wearing them now).
It took me maybe a good minute or two before I realized that in the midst of this apparently epic food fight, I had lost my glasses.
“How does one lose their glasses”, one may ask. Well… I’m not super proud of what I’m about to type out, mainly because it was so stupid for me to be so paranoid about something so minor, but…
For some reason, I can clearly remember that the cafeteria was serving what they considered to be egg rolls and rice that day. So yes, within all of the craziness that normally accompanies a food fight, countless egg rolls were just zipping through the space of our small lunchroom.
And one out of the many egg rolls… ended up knocking my glasses off of my face in the heat of battle.
I’m sure there are worse fates to be suffered, but things got a little bit worse. A friend of mine asked the principal if she had seen my glasses, and well… she made the entire cafeteria search for them until we found them… in the lap of someone at the next lunch table over.
I don’t know why, but that whole experience traumatized younger me so much that I refused to even be near an egg roll for several years on end.
Obviously, that’s changed a little bit because Chinese takeout has become my entire life and what made me an amateur foodie to begin with.
All in all, I hope you enjoyed this little story time of mine. Feel free to criticize my temporary irrational fear or add your own to the list in the comments below. I’ll see you guys in next week’s post!